Running - as the only escape and relief… continued

February 2007: The final thesis and project work commenced. Within two weeks of starting, Mam became very sick. After a few weeks of being in hospital for various tests she progressively worsened and was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. The following 4-months was an erratic mix of thesis project work and hospital visits. I was trying so very hard to keep a focus on final year and thesis work and parents continued telling me to do this and things “will be OK’. It is only now, almost 2 years later, that I fully realise the emotional and physical stress and toll this took on me. For the next 4-months my days consisted of the same repetitive routine. I simply needed to get out for an early morning run each day to release some of the stresses of previous day and night. Feeling somewhat lighter I would relax during a big breakfast and then worked non-stop by cramming in as much as possible until evening. I then cycled across the city to hospital and spent time with Mam. I cycled back to college accommodation again working late into the night. The following days were a blur and repeat of each other. The only difference is that everything intensified: Mam’s condition, workload and stress putting enormous physical and emotional strain on my body.

Mam had the surgery in early April and then a few weeks recuperation before starting chemotherapy. I was now positive and hopeful that this was behind and she was on the mend. Naïve perhaps but Dad continued to reassure (or lie) only to protect both brother and I who only had a month or so of thesis hand-in left to go. A week after Mam’s surgery I ran the “Bupa Ireland” 10km race in the Phoenix Park. I was over the moon that Mam and Dad came to watch. Mam was my sole focus to run that race as hard and strong as I could. I really wanted them to be proud as they had never seen me run before!


I handed in final project end of May. I put my all into it and was genuinely happy and proud with final product but I almost didn’t care either way at this stage compared to the anxiety from when I started final project.. Throughout those months my perspectives on what is really important in life had greatly changed. Mam had surgery to remove the tumor in April and we were told she was stable. She was let home but going back for chemotherapy sessions every 2-weeks for the next few months. Father assured brother and I that she was going to be OK and the chemo was just procedure following surgery. It was our final few months of post-college summer before looking for “real jobs” as graduates after summer!

Before Mam was diagnosed with cancer, my friend and I had already organised a student visa travel programme in New York for the summer. I was very reluctant to go and wanted to be there for Mam during treatments. Following many discussions with parents and encouragement to go. The Flora Ladies minimarathon 10km run was held 2 days before we depated for New York at start of June. It was a huge mass race of thousands of participants, all ladies! I was very surprised to be within the first 50 finishers finishing in 41 minutes despite picking up a painful foot injury in the process!

We departed for New York to work for 3-months, returning end of August. I saw and chatted with Mam every single day on Skype video calls online. I was able to keep up to date with her treatment. She was sick but in denial about it all and never wanted to speak of it. But Dad assured me she was OK.

We lived and worked in Manhattan. New York summer was hot and I had the most beautiful running route for each day… running high up into the park over looking the George Washington bridge and running down to the Hudson river and into central Manhattan. I entered the Dublin City marathon online when in New York and started my training – a month before coming home with then 2 months to my first full marathon! I followed a well-devised training schedule and stuck to it religiously. My training schedules were treated as doctor’s appointments! I monitored my distance, pacing and timing through my wonderful garmin GPS forerunner watch! It was wonderful to see Mam when I returned, albeit more frail and weak. We threw a huge 25th Silver wedding anniversary party for parents where a few hundred family and friends joined the celebration. This was the last time many people would have met Mam….

Prior to the Dublin marathon, I completed the pre-marathon race series including adidas 10-mile and and the half-marathon